Monday, 15 September 2014
Ladies, are you really interested in having a bond of great joy and fulfillment with your husband? We live in a world that is more interested in making sure the community thinks our marriage looks good and have it all together, than focusing inwardly at home, inside the real circumstances of a bond between a man and a woman. There are certainly many facets to a good marriage. No one can simply focus on one aspect and expect to achieve joy and fulfillment. Undoubtedly, the foundational building blocks of a great marriage are love, commitment, and covenant partnership with the Lord. But then there are those daily gestures that will keep him knowing that HE IS THE MAN!
Because men are very visual creatures, it is important that we keep ourselves in proper shape and exhibit daily the beauty that originally drew our husbands to us in the first place. When we arrive at a place where it no longer feels necessary to capture his attention, we enter into a danger zone because someone WILL capture his attention. So, why not let it be YOU! Dress up. Put a little paint on the barn and every once in a while ask HIM to accompany you on your next shopping trip to choose your new clothes. I found out that some of the clothes I like to wear and thought looked pretty on me were not Steve’s idea of pretty at all. I hear women saying, “Who cares if he likes it. Because if I like it, I’m gonna wear it!” I enjoy looking pretty for my husband. He is the first person I set out to please.
Hey, it’s no secret...We all know men love sex! But, what we sometimes don’t realize is that men also like variety. They’re spontaneous creatures. The same ole, same ole gets boring and ceases to entice. Stir things up a bit. Start being fun and fun to be with again. Do something you haven’t done together in ages. Really surprise him!
As the old saying goes, laughter does a body good. Well, laughter also does a marriage good. When was the last time you laughed together? Sometimes, Steve and I laugh so hard together, we cry! Everything about life shouldn’t be so serious. Rekindle the old “inside jokes” between one another and maybe even create some new ones.
It may sound foreign to you, but YOU were given to your husband as HIS helpmate. That is your Biblical definition and we know this word covers a vast number of ideas. Let your husband know that he comes first on your agenda. No, not the children! God never asked you to place the children before your husband. Tomorrow, shock your husband by asking if you can do anything for him. Perhaps he needs a button sewn on his sleeve, or he needs you to pick something up at Walmart that he hasn’t been able to swing by and get. Or, maybe he needs you to make him a yearly doctor appointment? Whatever he needs, let him know you are at his disposal.
Another aspect of being his helpmate is RESPECT! I can hear Aretha Franklin singing as I write. Friends, regardless of what you might have thought, RESPECT is the number one desire of a good man. It is possible for a man to receive sex from any female human being, but a good man will be drawn to the one woman who highly respects him. The woman who lifts him up with encouragement and honor. That is why you often see a husband go astray and wonder why the woman he runs to may not be as beautiful as the wife he left. The key is often that he found a deeper sense of respect and the respect was attractive. It was enticing!
You have been given a wonderful man! There is no greater reward as a wife than to make him the happiest man alive. We need to treat our husbands better than we treat anyone else upon the earth. Maybe you’ve experienced struggle in your marriage this year...I dare you to devote yourself to your husband and practicing these few keys to a fulfilling marriage. Soon, your struggle just may end in a delightful place you have never experienced before. Go for it!
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
Are You Prepared?
Steve and I were married very young and knew absolutely nothing about how to be good parents. We can testify to having good parents, but we both came from broken homes and once we had children of our own, the desire to be good parents was replaced with the desire to be godly parents. We gave our hearts and lives to Jesus at eighteen and in return HE gave us grace and wisdom to raise both Alyse and Bryce.
Contrary to what might be popular today, we raised our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. This meant that we faithfully attended church and surrounded them with a community of like-minded people and friends. We taught them the truths of God’s Word every day through conversation and life-example. They were infused with character: love, integrity, compassion, honesty, hard work, obedience, generosity, etc. Seven years were dedicated to home schooling them. We were faithful to discipline them. The world today recognizes discipline as punishment, but punishment says, “You made me angry. Therefore, I am going to hurt you. Discipline says, I love you. Therefore, I will discipline you until you can learn to become SELF-DISCIPLINED!”
We were successful at parenting because the grace and counsel of God is very real and tangible. Whenever we came to a crossroads of decision, we sought His guidance. Whenever we did not have the answer, we sought His Word. He has faithfully directed our path and guided us to favorable outcomes. I love to tell everyone that JESUS CHRIST IS OUR SUCCESS! He gets all the glory.
Anyway, we raised two very special children who never caused us any problems until...
When our son, Bryce, turned sixteen. Through the fellowship of a few ungodly, influential peers, he found himself on a slippery road to rebellion. He rebelled against us in ways we never imagined. It was the most difficult trial Steve or I have ever encountered. Our hearts were broken, but because Christ was/is our SOURCE, we were prepared for battle. We loved Bryce, continued to discipline him, and contended for his soul every day through prayer and declaration. Not only were WE prepared for this dark trial, but so was Bryce. The seeds of righteousness and truth had been laid in his life since he was born. They framed his very being.
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it - Proverbs 22:6
One night, Holy Spirit woke me up to inform me that at that very moment Satan was desiring to kill Bryce and destroy him forever. Immediately, God also gave me this promise: Satan will NEVER be able to destroy your son because the foundation you have laid in Bryce’s life is so deep.
Walking this morning, Holy Spirit reminded me of the Parable of the Ten Virgins in the Bible. (Matthew 25:1-13) This parable teaches us about ten people who profess to be in relationship with Christ, but only five of them continually remain connected to Him as their SOURCE. The other five allow their oil to get low and burn out. When the bridegroom appears, they are caught in a panic trying to rush around and borrow oil for their lamps, but it is too late.
I want to lovingly warn you today, do not get caught unaware. Take the proactive approach to life. Do not allow life to simply happen to you and constantly be on the rebound from the severe blows. No, be watchful, prepared, and on guard against the storm that could be coming. Do not wait until a trial arises with your children to try to begin laying a firm foundation in their lives. By that time, it will be too late! Be ready and connected to the only true Source of life, Jesus, when your day of death arrives. Be filled-up and waiting for Jesus to return.
If you wait for these days to appear before making the proper preparations then I assure you, it will be too late and you will not receive the victorious outcome you are expecting. Because we live life prepared, the trial with our son lasted only a short three years. Today, he lives his life in honor to us as his parents and also to his heavenly Father as well. Bryce is blessed and highly favored and God is forever faithful.
Thursday, 10 April 2014
I am thankful that early in my relationship with Jesus, HE placed great emphasis on the importance of being in the will of God personally. A portion of scripture that grabbed my attention and caused me to allow God to shepherd my entire life is found in Psalm 139:13-17
“For you created my innermost being; and knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; That I know full well. My frame was not hidden from YOU when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; ALL THE DAYS ORDAINED FOR ME WERE WRITTEN IN YOUR BOOK BEFORE ONE OF THEM CAME TO BE. How precious to me are your thoughts O’ God.”
I imagine the book sitting on God’s shelf in heaven solely about the life of Jeneen Bullen Kohler. All of my days are recorded in it. It is my life’s mission NOT to miss fulfilling a single day. Therefore, I place high priority on seeking God’s direction and submitting to His plan and course of action for my life.
Recently, I was given the “invitation” to minister in South Africa. It came from a dear mentor and friend of mine, whom I highly respect. I have traveled to South Africa several times and have many dear friends there. These people are like second family to me. Surely God wanted me to walk through this open door? Feeling important, I jumped at the opportunity and immediately began making plans to travel in August.
I had no longer accepted the invitation, when I heard a still small voice within saying, “You didn’t ask ME if I wanted you to go to South Africa?”
My heart sank!
In my own reasoning and desire, I wanted to go! I didn’t want to hurt my friend who had graciously extended this invitation to me. I kept thinking of all the women I could refresh and impact. EVERYTHING SEEMED FINE AND PROFITABLE FOR THE KINGDOM.
Humbly, I decided to make the invitation a matter of prayer. I presented my case for going to the Lord, giving Him every reason Why I thought this was a good idea. He spoke very clearly to me…
”Jeneen, you are welcome to travel to South Africa, but I will not be going with you.”
Suddenly, I realized that I could spend thousands of dollars and much time traveling, standing on stages, trying to impact many people, but choosing this route meant that I would be riding solo, without the anointing and presence of God.
Without Him there is no impact. Without Him, transformation is no longer possible. Without Him, I am only a shell.
I learned through listening to the heart of God that He has others plans for me right now. He has commissioned me to focus on writing my first book. He also revealed His plans for me to conduct a women’s event right here in my own city this year.
In the daily grind, we find ourselves BUSY, but what are we BUSY with? Are we BUSY with our own plans, agendas, and schedules or are we BUSY fulfilling God’s plan for our lives? Our own self-made plans may seem fulfilling at the time, but what better plans might we be forfeiting? You, too, have a book in heaven with your name on it. Have you recently opened it, in the spirit, that the contents of it's pages might be revealed?
Seeking God’s will requires us to separate the desires of man from the desires of the spirit. Discernment is key. Every good idea is NOT always a God idea. It does not mean there is anything necessarily wrong with the idea. It may simply not be God’s plan at the time.
So,why are you doing what you do?
Are you riding solo or are you right in the middle of HIS plan?
Thursday, 13 March 2014
“If we suffer, we shall also reign with Him”
Steve and I will be married twenty-six years in September. He does not have to question whether I love him. My devotion to him has proven my love. I married Steve when I was only seventeen years old. We were so broke that the only way we were able to go on our honeymoon was by funding it through the money we graciously received at our reception. Talk about last minute! We were simply HOPING. We drove halfway to Myrtle Beach and stopped at the Cricket Inn to spend our first night of forever together. How romantic is that? The Cricket Inn! Yet, it was romantic to us and we devoted ourselves to one another in that place. Steve still carried the receipt from that night at the Cricket Inn in his wallet until a few years ago when it became unrecognizable.
That was before the days of Steve being named a vice-president of a very large national construction company. Before the days of him being a wise man. Oh, that was sixteen moves ago...before I followed Steve to six different states and lived in a fifth-wheel camper for eleven months while also homeschooling our kids. Long before the days of extravagant gifts, dream vacations, and beautiful homes.
You see, before any of the reigning, there was a season to suffer. A season of proving my devotion to Steve, while having little to our name. A season of following him through blind faith. A season of submitting to his plan simply because I loved him. Encouraging him through times when he lacked the confidence needed to go to the next level. Standing with him through the tough days, on my knees in prayer. Creating a safe place of refuge for him to come home to day after day. Extravagantly pouring out love and respect upon him, choosing to build him up instead of tearing him down.
Through growth and spiritual maturity, Steve now reigns as a King and I stand beside him as his Queen. There is not one thing my husband will not do for me. Not one thing he begrudges me to have, when it is in the power of his hands to provide it for me. He lives by this statement: “My love for my wife is a reflection of my love and devotion to Christ.”
Steve is for me all the way...my greatest fan. He sends me all around the world to do what I love...being a refresher to others.
God is looking for this type of devotion from His children. So often, we want the gifts and benefits from God before the suffering and devotion. But, God is looking for hearts that truly belong to Him, not simply saying we belong to Him through lip service. Have you followed Christ through blind faith, allowing Him to lead and guide your every step? Have you created a place of intimacy for Him to come and dwell? Have you loved him and devoted your life to Him before He gives you anything? Do you serve him with joy and gladness while living in “the camper” just as you will when He provides the mansion? Devotion is the giving of one’s self fully and wholly to another. It is unconditional. It remains through the good and the bad.
Your life, at this moment, may not be all that you desire it to be. Perhaps this is a season of testing and suffering for you, but your faithful devotion to Christ will lead you to your destiny. When you stand in the field of true joy and prosperity, just remember there was no other way to arrive here than through seasons of suffering that reveal our complete devotion to GOD.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass.” - Psalm 37:4-5
Friday, 28 February 2014
Refreshed and Restored by Jeneen Kohler’s deep-seated words. It was a night I’ll not soon forget; a night of words so moving and majestic that I did not want to end. Undoubtedly anointed, I can describe it best by saying I felt like I’d just had my soul massaged.
On a crisp, southern October evening, in a town where High School football still rules Friday nights and in a time when an Almighty God Refreshed and Restored by Jeneen Kohler’s deep-seated words. It was a night I’ll not soon forget; a night of words so moving and majestic that I did not want to end. Undoubtedly anointed, I can describe it best by saying I felt like I’d just had my soul massaged.
On a crisp, southern October evening, in a town where High School football still rules Friday nights and in a time when an Almighty God is often handed leftovers, Mrs. Kohler served up a warm reminder that what is referred to as the “Fatherless Generation” can be renewed and resurrected. “You don’t have to remain hopeless”, says Jeneen, as she reminds us of the power we - ourselves have been given to speak into our own situations. If a sigh of relief is what you need but seems impossible, her message is for you. Movers and shakers are being birthed by her mission as she authoritatively reaches up and pulls down those blessings God is waiting to impart. Glory to God for his infinite plans and divine interruptions. Will you be blessed beyond measure by what she shares? A resounding Yes! Will you Ever be the same? No beloved, you will not want to be. Staci B.
handed leftovers; Ms. Kohler served up a warm reminder that what is referred to as the “Fatherless Generation” can be renewed and resurrected. “You don’t have to remain hopeless”, says Jeneen, as she reminds us of the power we- ourselves have been given to speak into our own situations. If a sigh of relief is what you need but seems impossible, her message is for you. Movers and shakers are being birthed by her mission as she authoritatively reaches up and pulls down those blessings God is waiting to impart. Glory to God for his infinite plans and divine interruptions. Will you be blessed beyond measure by what she shares? A resounding Yes! Will you Ever be the same? No beloved, you will not want to be.
Friday, 14 February 2014
“She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.”
Her smile is contagious! The kind of smile that immediately causes you to stop and take notice. She diligently instructs the Barbell Class I attend at the gym week after week. However, it is not her physical strength which draws me to her.
The tragic circumstances she had recently endured were not evident in her appearance. It had been a little more than a year since Regina suffered the sudden and unimaginable loss of her dear husband, Edward. She lost her helpmate and their two children, Eden and Edward Jr., lost their daddy.
Edward, who had a fear of water, set out to conquer his anxiety by training in the open waters of Joe Pool Lake on August 20, 2012. With several completed triathlons behind him, he was hoping to make better on his time in the swimming division of the up and coming Half Iron Man Triathlon. Changing his clothes and rushing out the door, he lovingly took time to kiss Regina and promised, as he had so many times before, to return in a couple hours for dinner.
As the evening passed with no sign or word from Edward, Regina anxiously began to worry. This sort of behavior was not typical of her husband. He was never late - at least not without a phone call explaining why and when he planned to be home. Call after call went straight to his voicemail. So Regina went looking. Racing to the boat ramp at Lynn Creek Park, a disturbing feeling came over Regina as she noticed Edward’s car parked right where he had left it. His towel still folded and laying on the front seat, awaiting his return from the water. Edward, who was forty-five years old and in excellent physical condition was missing and everything suddenly changed for Regina.
A two-day search and the watch on his wrist revealed that Edward had accidentally been tangled in some hydrilla and drowned only twelve minutes into his training. They would have been married eight years.
Can one ever really understand why such things occur? Why Edward? Why Me? Why Now? Circumstances like these often conjure up an endless stream of unanswered questions, coupled with anger, resentment and fear. The death of Edward left Regina a widow with two small children, ages four and fifteen months.
The words, “The Lord Is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want” seemed to somehow no longer accurately apply to Regina’s life...or so it might seem. After all, her partner and father of her children had been taken from her. How could this woman not feel in want? How could she not feel alone?
As Regina trusted me with the intimate details surrounding Edward’s accident, I came face to face with a woman of God, who truly lived, moved and found her being in Christ. Resentment and fear were far from her. Our conversation was filled with much laughter as she fondly recalled details of their relationship. She spoke about the unfailing faithfulness of her Lord. I was reminded that God’s grace truly is sufficient. His love had clothed Regina in strength, joy, peace and the assurance of a great future.
Our circumstances are always apt to change. We are not promised a life without hardship or pain and tomorrow may never come. However, there is one thing we can be sure of, one promise we can rest upon - God will never leave us nor forsake us. He will be with us in any and every situation we go through. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother - the true Lover of our souls.
So, today, in honor of the love we celebrate on Valentine’s Day, breathe in God’s perfect love for YOU. Experience Him all around and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are His first choice! You are His jewel.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
It's a beautiful thing!
I was reminded of the necessity of contentment today through a conversation with my son. Many are awaiting personal shifts in the seasons of life right now. Waiting on God to make good on His promises.
Often, year after year, our patience wears thin, leading to bouts of complaining, attitudes of unthankfulness and endless searches for immediate gratification. We research the latest trends and abruptly decide we need new decor for the house or perhaps even a new house, new clothes for our self-esteem, a career change, or possibly just an amazing last minute deal on a trip that whisks us away from our mundane routines...
Whatever you might be feeling, Zig Ziglar writes,
“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want NOW!
1 Timothy 6:6 declares that “godliness WITH contentment is great gain.”
That means that godliness and contentment are a congruous pair. To truly walk with God, one must surrender and allow His beautiful Spirit to morph us into godliness. As believers, we trust Him with our paths and our futures, yielding our days to His timing. Assuredly, many can testify to having allowed this process to be at work in their lives, but fewer have understood the role that contentment plays in the journey.
Contentment says, “Though I thank you for what lies ahead, I am at peace HERE.”
It is the calming assurance that our best is yet to come, while gently reminding us to breathe in the value of HERE.
HERE is a test.
HERE has purpose.
When HERE ceases to have purpose, then God will move you THERE!
And,THERE will not present itself without the attitude of contentment. Cultivating a lifestyle of contentment will position you for promotion.
When was the last time you took inventory of your blessings instead of your wants and desires. I would venture to believe that if asked, we could all quickly recite the many things we are currently waiting for and would certainly like to witness come to pass, but just for today let us not think on those things. Let us BE STILL and find a place of quietness with the Lord to simply say THANK YOU for all that you have given me. THANK YOU for your presence in my life. THANK YOU for my health, safety and provision. THANK YOU for teaching me. THANK YOU for the place called HERE!
Thursday, 09 January 2014
Created In His Image
We begin 2014 with a greater hunger for God and His power. Realizing this is not going to happen without any effort on our part, we commit to taking time in the evenings to come together, as a family, for the purpose of reading the Bible and prayer.
I must admit God brought me to my knees the first evening we sat down together. I consider myself a loving individual. Through the overwhelming forgiveness I have personally received from the Lord, I like to think that I have become a more merciful person as well. As I look back over my life, I can see that I have always been drawn to the less-fortunate, the “underdogs,” those who live underprivileged lives at no choice of their own. Oh, how I enjoy giving to these individuals and watching their faces light up as they realize that SOMEONE really does care about their seemingly unimportant lives.
This year God is speaking a new life-lesson to me. EVERYONE has been created in the image of God. Our Triune God gave special attention to create every person in our spheres of influence, including those surrounding us in social media and the entertainment world! I don’t know about you but for some I just do not have the patience nor the tolerance!
I look at their riotous lifestyles, despise their choices and before long find myself repulsed by these individuals instead of seeing them as God sees them. Do not misunderstand me. I wish them no harm, but I can’t say there is a warm, fuzzy feeling deep in my heart for them either.
Catch my drift? Do you ever find yourself more kind to the kindhearted? More accepting of those who are lovable? More merciful to the less-fortunate than you are to those who blatantly drove head first into a sea of really bad choices?
When was the last time you wept for the wavering politician? The evil murderer? The lonely prostitute? The gang member? The abusive spouse? The child molester? Or the high-class, rich executive who squandered the investments of many?
Even THESE were created in His image. For even THESE the plan of God is good. He longs to have a relationship with even THESE. Will hate, separation, and judgement lead them to repentance? How can we make a difference in their lives?
This year I choose to view every human being as a creative masterpiece of God. My heart is changed, judgements washed clean. In 2014, I resolve to see all as equal in the eyes of the Lord and I consciously choose to care! How will you make a difference?
Wednesday, 01 January 2014
Happy New Year 2014
I must say that 2013 was the very best year of my life and an amazing time to be a part of God's Kingdom.
I was talking to the Lord a few weeks ago and I said, "Lord, you're NOT the Best thing to ever happen to me. You ARE me. Without Your Spirit living on the inside of me I do not even exist! You are true life and every joy in my world."
As we begin our first day of 2014, I want to strongly encourage each of you to discover an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. If you already walk daily with the Lord then let's take it up a notch this year. I am personally seeking His face to go to a brand new level of power, passion, and prosperity.
On the other hand, if you have never tried a life with Christ before now, I Double-Dog dare you! Every human being is made up of soul, spirit, and body. You will never experience a FULL life until you allow the precious Holy Spirit to dwell within your own personal spirit. His love and power will transform you and your atmosphere.
Thank you to everyone who gave of themselves in 2013 to help us take the truth of Christ around the world and impact lives. 2014 is declared a year of double portion. Together, we will do great and mighty things in the earth. May you obey God in all things and may 2014 be the year you have waited your whole life for.
Blessings and Grace,
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
“Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that “worketh in us”....
Unto Him, be all glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen!”
I have learned that any good thing we do is actually the empowerment and grace of the Holy Spirit at work “in us.” I sat with Eric and Mendy Anderson of Mission 615 in late October and listened as they shared their vision of blessing all the inner-city kids and the homeless men and women they minister to on a weekly basis with a gift for Christmas. To some, it seemed like an unlikely plan, seeing that it was already the end of October, leaving only about six weeks to raise the money needed for the project. Immediately, we shared their vision and climbed on board.
On November 4, we petitioned our partners of Repairing the Breach Ministries for generous contributions to meet the goal. It is amazing as we read the verse above, often we are made to believe that it is JESUS Himself who is going to meet these goals exceeding and abundantly above all that we have asked Him for, but the truth is we are Christ’s ambassadors, His representatives throughout this earth. Goals are met, the work of His kingdom goes forward through you and me as we obediently yield to that still small voice within our spirits. Yes, God sees every need and the Holy Spirit empowers the need to be met, but understand that GOD chooses to use people!
I am joyful to announce that the budget for “OPERATION CHRISTMAS” was met and the unlikely vision in October became likely on December 14th because of your obedience and generosity! On behalf of those who do not have a platform to say Thank you, I want to commend you! I believe the Lord smiled as the true spirit of Christmas was kept alive in the giving of gifts. To all who generously gave, may you reap a hundredfold return on your investment, coupled with peace, joy, health and true prosperity.
Merry Christmas from the staff of Repairing the Breach Ministries, Inc.
We love you and wish you a fulfilling 2014
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