“If you want to know what God wants you to do - ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But, when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They cannot make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything that they do.” - James 1:5-8
At eighteen months of age, our beautiful daughter, Alyse, was diagnosed with epilepsy. By doctors orders, she was placed on an extremely high dosage of daily medication and as baby Christians, Steve and I were placed on God’s training wheel of FAITH. It was our first experience with the feeling of helplessness - hopelessness too! I remember thinking to myself, “how will our lives ever be the same?” Worry became the new mindset of our home as we consistently observed our precious child endure one to three seizures every day. There was nothing we could do except hold her safely in our arms until each storm passed, leaving behind a very exhausted and weak child each time.
One day while attending my very first ladies’ retreat, the Lord spoke to me through a word of prophecy saying, “I want to heal your daughter.” Call it immaturity or even stupidity (as her doctor did), but I took God at His word, returned home from the retreat and immediately took Alyse off of her medication. A few weeks passed free from seizures and the scheduled appointment for Alyse’s quarterly check-up drew nigh. To this day, I have never forgotten the look on her doctor’s face when I announced the news that Alyse had been healed and no longer needed to take her medicine! Afterall, epilepsy WAS the diagnosis! It was declared to be a struggle of hers for the rest of her life! How dare I play doctor!!!!
Within minutes, Alyse was hooked to an EEG monitor. This test had periodically been performed since her diagnosis to measure and record the spontaneous electrical activity of her brain and had shown very clear abnormalities each time...UNTIL THIS TIME! Upon the acceptance of God’s Word, Alyse was healed and the test had proven it on record! We left the doctor’s office that day on a high we neither one had ever experienced!
Sharing the testimony of God’s miraculous healing of our daughter was both wildly refreshing and new. If there ever was a way to launch one’s faith to a new level, a miracle certainly did it for us, but as quickly as it came, it was also tested.
Being our only child at the time, Alyse loved to sleep on a pallet beside our bed on special occasions. On this particular night, she did just that. In the wee hours of the morning, I was awakened by that dreadful noise...the undeniable sound of violent convulsion. My heart sank as I replayed every testimony I had given about her healing over and over in my head! Our faith was jolted. Devastated, I called my pastor’s wife for advice. She lovingly assured me to stand on the declaration of faith I had confessed and to never look back. “This is only a test, Jeneen," she declared.
In the days to come, I continued to stand upon God’s promise to me. I refused to accept that Alyse was not healed. I refused to put her back on the medicine and the Holy Spirit taught me a valuable lesson - that "symptoms", although they appear as facts, ARE NOT REALITY. REALITY is whatever GOD says! Since that night, Alyse has never endured another seizure. She will be 24 years old in March!
What have you been declaring and professing in this season of life? Are symptoms and signs announcing defeat? This is only a test! Stand firm and waver not! You have been called to walk by faith and not by sight. Contrary to popular belief, seeing is NOT always believing and perception is NOT always reality. Let faith arise! GOD is waiting to show Himself STRONG on your behalf!
“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong on the behalf of those whose heart is perfect toward him.” - 2 Chronicles:16:9